049_Refusing_Permission

049_Refusing_Permission

How can you refuse permission to someone? It can be done in a polite way or in a direct and forceful way. Instructor Carlo James helps Nichibei Kaiwa Gakuin student Miharu learn to do it both ways.

---

Kevin:

Hello everyone and welcome to Nichibei Kaiwa Gakuin Podcasting. A great way to review English words and phrases. My name is Kevin Jones.
And with us here once again at Nichibei Kaiwa Gakuin to help us with our question is Nichibei instructor Carlo James. Hello again Carlo. It’s good to see you.

Carlo James:

Hello again Kevin.

Kevin:

And here with us for a second time, with a question for this episode, is Nichibei student Miharu. How are you today Miharu?

Miharu:

I’m great.

Kevin:

Last week we talked about how to use the phrase ‘do you mind’ and at the end of that podcast you raised another question.

Miharu:

Just a moment. You said I raised a question?

Kevin:

Yes, that’s right. You raised a question. To raise a question means to introduce a new question, or to bring up a new question.

Miharu:

OK, right. Last week I asked you about how to refuse permission when someone says something like ‘do you mind if I smoke?’ Sometimes I want to tell someone not to smoke when they ask for permission.

Kevin:

OK. Carlo James. What do you have to say about Miharu’s question about refusing permission?

Carlo James:

Miharu, there are basically two ways you can refuse permission. One is politely and softly, the other is more direct and forceful. Which way do you want to learn about?

Miharu:

Both, if you don’t mind.

Carlo James:

OK. Then lets start with a more soft and polite way. The best phrase to use here is ‘I’d rather you didn’t’. If you like you can start with a short heisitaiton phrase such as ‘Well…’, or ‘Well… erm… actually’ or ‘Well…, to tell you the truth’. and then use the phrase ‘I’d rather you didn’t’. Let’s give it a try. Miharu, do you mind if I smoke?

Miharu:

Well, I’d rather you didn’t.

Carlo James:

Good. Try again with ‘To tell the truth’. Miharu, do you mind if I smoke?

Miharu:

Well…To tell you the truth, I’d rather you didn’t.

Carlo James:

Great! Now with ‘Actually’. Miharu, do you mind if I smoke?

Miharu:

Actually, I’d rather you didn’t.

Carlo James:

Good. And if you like you can combine any of those. Give it a try. Do you mind if I smoke?

Miharu:

Well, actually, to tell you the truth, I’d rather you didn’t.

Carlo James:

Good Job Miharu!. Now for the second step. After that phrase you should add on a reason why you are refusing and you should introduce your reason with ‘you see’, or ‘the thing is’ or ‘it’s just that’. It should sound like this. ‘Actually, I’d rather you didn’t, you see, my wife hates the smell of tobacco’. Miharu, let’s hear you put it all together. Ah, Do you mind if I smoke?

Miharu:

Well to tell you the truth, I’d rather you didn’t, you see, my husband hates the smell.

Carlo James:

Good. That sounded like a very polite refusal. Let’s try another one.
Miharu, do you mind if I open the window?

Miharu:

Well, I’d rather you didn’t. It’s just that, I have a cold and I want to stay warm.

Carlo James:

Good. That sounded perfect.

Miharu:

Thanks, Now what do I say if I want to strongly refuse permission to someone?

Carlo James:

That’s simple. If someone says ‘Do you mind if I eat your sandwich’, and you want to strongly refuse, just say
Yes, I do mind! or Yes, I Mind

Miharu:

Yes, I do mind.

Carlo James:

OK. Let’s give it a try. Miharu.

Miharu:

Yes

Carlo James:

Do you mind if look in your purse?

Miharu:

Yes I do mind.

Carlo James:

Do you mind If I borrow your car?

Miharu:

Yes I do mind.

Carlo James:

Miharu?

Miharu:

Yes?

Carlo James:

Do you mind if I kiss you?

Miharu:

YES I DO mind.

Carlo James:

Just kidding Miharu. You’ve got it.

Miharu:

Thanks Mr. James.

Carlo James:

It was my pleasure.

Kevin:

Now, lets review some of the phrases used in this episode.
To raise a question
I’d rather you didn’t.
Actually, I’d rather you didn’t.
Well, to tell you the truth, I’d rather you didn’t.
Yes, I do mind.!
Yes, I mind!

END